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Time to throw another Shutterstock model under the bus. I have no idea, of course, if this drummer suffers from the very human, understandable tendency I’m discussing in today’s video. (I sometimes wonder if these models ever see themselves in youtube thumbnails and how they react. I like to think if it were me I’d be laughing about it with friends.)
We want people to think we’re good. I mean that in both senses of the word. We generally want to be regarded as good people, and it’s also nice when we get compliments about our skill in something.
The problem is that very human need to see ourselves as capable can sometimes directly interfere with the learning process, which often involves painful, public “digging” through our deficiencies.
The good news is that “thick skin” and “unflappability” that all the pros seem to have onstage - the whole “don’t they get nervous? No, not really” thing - is a direct result.
The bad news is the “getting there” can tweak all our embarrassment instincts.
Whether to a teacher or coach, or to ourselves as we listen to our own recordings or watch our own performances, confronting our deficiencies hurts.
The second problem is something Roni Kaspi alluded to in a recent podcast interview: it’s helpful if we feel at least a little bit confident in what we’re doing. Just as many experts agree the healthiest mindset for something like weight loss is a combination of self-acceptance and also striving toward a goal, it’s nice if we don’t think “I suck” every time we sit down to play.
The solution is complex, and involves identity and psychology - two things way above my pay grade. But when I learned about Carol Dweck’s concepts of “fixed” and “growth” mindset some things slotted into place for me. There’s a dance of seeing ourselves as upon a path to being better, not fixed in place, that’s helped me from time-to-time.
But whatever the path forward, we drummers need to contend with this blocker if we’re going to get better; otherwise we’ll be stuck in the “slow lane” of improvement.
Thoughts? Leave a comment. Otherwise, enjoy!